The new neigbours

I finally met the new neighbours. I was shaking a blanket over my back balcony and I noticed the wife multitasking by pushing a huge hand grass cutter over the lawn whilst smoking a cigarette. I couldn't resist and after catching her eye waved and introduced myself. She introduced herself back and I motioned that I would come to the fence for a chat. They are a young couple in their late 20's (yes smoking does age you - I thought she was mid 30's). They had lived in the groovy part of a suburb not far away but needed the space for their twin girls. She was softly spoken and intelligent thankfully, apart from the beer/fagging bit. She retold me how they had had trouble with Achmed the day they moved, in regards to settlement and how one of the twins was asthmatic and needed hospitalisation which explained the weird comings and goings the last weeks. She couldn't resist to name drop to me and that she new Achmeds pop star daughter indirectly, but it was water off a ducks back as I had been watching the daughters private life for a year now.

I asked her how she found the house and the unusual choice of mediteranean/arabic colours that Achmed had so proudly bragged about, including the black marble and gold bathroom, avocado and bright blue interior and aqua blue tiled roof to match the peach and blue exterior. He had also ripped out any old style embelishment he could find, including any interior walls so that all three bedrooms and the bathroom led off the main room. The house was in bad need of a paint on the outside and the wood was starting to rot in places. My partner had called it a bulldozer job. She replied that she was going to change all of that, but couldn't bring herself to rip out the bathroom as it was new. She then told me that her father was a heritage architect and she loved heritage houses and was going to renovate in that style. Her face dropped when I told her the houses were not heritage but post heritage. But I couldn't believe it. It was going to take years and cost them a fortune to put back all that Achmed had removed. It kind of added to the wakiness a bit of the conversation especially when she added that she wanted to put in an organic vegetable garden, unknowingly where Achmed had burned off the rest of his sunglasses one afternoon in a haze of toxic smoke. Suddenly I knew that they were fashion victims living in a fantasy land. Especially when she told me her husband was a German named Lars and he was in marketing. At that point Lars came down the stairs, introduced himself then dragged his wife away to feed the children. And I can forgive him for that because up close he is exceptionally good looking. But I think he knew it as well and probably was a bit of a charmer. And then to top it off yesterday he stood outside my office window blabbing in German to his daughter for ages, deliberately I am sure because he knew I was tapping away, to show the multiculturalism of his family.

Then on Sunday evening a set of cheap IKEA pristine clean perfectly see through blinds appeared on their windows. I don't have the heart to tell them I can now see everything they do more than before when they have the light on inside. And out in the front yard of their pseudo heritage bungalow dumped in a pile for all to see are Achmeds old purple verticals and their 3 wheely bins.